The Breakdown Of Relationships And Why They Fail – by: Jack Crow

All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing partner to consider having or continuing to have, a physical relationship with them. Lose this from the start and you will become mayor of the friend zone.

Definition of sexual tension – Cocky and funny. A loud mouth, walking the thin line of winding her up without overly offending her. Posing as a challenge and not doing everything she says without a bit of give and take.

No sexual tension = a dead relationship.

There are 4 general types of relationship.

THE FRIEND ZONE RELATIONSHIP

Familiarity without sexual tension. (Usually the male not opening his mouth to challenge a girl he REALLY fancies.) This leads to complacency in that the female becomes numb to the presence of the male (because he doesn’t stimulate her emotionally through lack of communication) and associates him as a social partner only. This leads to, the friend zone. The male is permanently seen as a non sexual friend only. Once a female has made up her mind that you are a friend and she says the F word. It is the kiss of death for any attraction you have for her. You will never have a physical relationship with her from this point onward and will spend the rest of your time with her, hearing how she got off with this great guy at the weekend. All the while you’re dying inside. When you eventually tell her how you truly feel and she rejects you. She will sit and wonder why you are not answering the phone any more as you were a great listener to her problems.

PURLEY PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

Purely physical attraction. After a while a lack of sexual variety leads to complacency in both parties. Boredom / lack of sexual tension makes both parties become fed up with each other quickly. This leads to a breakup of the relationship and both parties go their separate ways. This type of relationship can be prolonged if both parties are willing to explore their sexual fantasies and keep variety in the bedroom. The long term feasibility of such a relationship is still in question.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION

Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male resists, lack of conformity equals continued sexual tension which equals a long lasting relationship viewed as love in a love hate relationship.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION & SEXUAL TENSION VERSION 2

Physical attraction + sexual tension equals love at first site. Female tries to change male to her ideal image of a man. The male conforms and no longer poses a challenge. Female gets bored as there’s no sexual tension any more. Relationship starts to slip. Male thinks everything is ok as he is doing everything she wants but in reality, she has lost all interest in him. It is at this point that she will either stay with him in a purely partnership arrangement or leave him as soon as a better male comes along that stimulates her emotionally.

THE OVER POSSESSIVE PARTNER

The above scenarios do not take into account over possessive partners that bully or smother their partners to the point that they leave or attack them. This is known in some circles as ‘a bunny boiler’. So named after the film fatal attraction where an obsessed Glenn Close cooks the family’s pet rabbit in a revenge attack for Michael Douglas spurning her advances after a brief sexual relationship.

Usually over possessiveness stems from the insecurities or lack of trust in one partner. (They may have been hurt in the past and are determined to not let it happen again, to the point where it becomes an obsession.) Or they’re a total psycho, run for it!

Relationship number 4 is the most common. In general you will see it while at the shopping center. The husband pushes the trolley and every time the wife speaks, it’s either yes dear or no dear. The husband has conformed to do what the female requires in order to have a quiet life. The female thinks she is superior, in control and has mastered the art of man handling.

In reality she is destroying the mans animal attraction to her. She is slowly numbing him into an affair with someone else. Little does she know it but as he no longer poses a challenge to her, she is slowly becoming numb to him. As his animal instinct is tamed and he finds her attractive less and less, they will suddenly, one day, find themselves in a loveless marriage.

They will at this point be co-existing in a purely partnership based relationship for the sake of survival or because of children. This has lead to relationships breaking up after 30 years of marriage and both partners wonder why their marriage is so lifeless.

It has been described as ‘the spark fizzling out’. In reality it is the lack of sexual tension or sexual variety. Remember, a female thinks with her emotions and a man thinks with his…..err….physical attraction mechanism.

If a male no longer stimulates her emotionally, she will seek it elsewhere. Equally if a female is no longer sexually attractive to a man, he too will look elsewhere.

Don’t get me wrong ladies, some things can’t be reversed, like aging and the passage of time, but there are ways to grow old and still be sexy to a male partner. A boring sex life is a recipe for disaster and being sexy is more than a lack of wrinkles. If in doubt, it’s time to start experimenting in the bedroom to see what pushes his and your buttons. Explore each others sexual fantasies and do things you only dream about at night while your partner is asleep. You’ll be surprised how quickly your relationship bounces back as a result.

If you have any sense you will heed my warning weather you are male or female, married or just starting a relationship. Try to keep the sexual tension alive between the two of you. If not, you will be on the next train to dumpsville wondering why he or she slept with someone else.

About The Author Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster. When he’s not building web sites he’s checking out new dating sites that appear on the net. To see what he thinks of them visit: http://www.sexy-american-singles.com

Online Dating – by: Jack Crow

The online dating world today can be a confusing place to be. As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon. This has lead to literally thousands of dating sites springing up online.

This would be confusing enough in itself but with the creation of affiliate programs there are now several thousand more portal sites pretending to be real dating sites but are actually using the member databases of the big dating web sites through partner programs.

As someone who has researched many dating sites I have found it extremely frustrating to click through several sites only to be lead back to sites I have already been at. So it would appear that there are not as many real dating sites as I had first thought, but this still leaves hundreds instead of thousands. So, it’s still a head spinner in regards which one to join.

In addition to this you will find that all sites are not created equal. The big players seem to have the best featured sites with ever more features being added such as instant video messenging etc. Where as smaller sites will have more basic features.

(You will in fact find that most people join more than one site. You will find some of them at http://www.sexy-american-singles.com

and while we can’t list every site that is out there, we do list some of the top ones.)

At the end of the day, it really depends on what you are looking for that matters. In this regard, whilst the bigger personals sites have more features, like webcam chat etc, they are very generalised and are really only aimed at dating personals in general.

You will find they have an international membership base, so if you are only looking for someone in your immediate area, you may have a problem. If you live in one of the major developed countries such as America or Canada, you will find that the majority of websites are centered around these countries as they lead the field in the area of internet development.

However, if like me, you are living up a hill in the middle of nowhere, you’re going to have to look further afield for friends and new lovers. Isn’t this the whole point of the internet? To bridge borders and make distance no longer an issue!

Apparently not, as many profiles will state “no long distance relationships” and “looking for people in local area only”. Do not let this deter you as there are many more people that have no problem with distance or are fed up dating people in their local area.

Believe it or not, if males and females in your local area or even country won’t give you the time of day, you’ll be described as cute and a babe or hunk by people from another country. Simply because you are different than what they are used to. You don’t look like them or talk like them. 90% of people find accents sexy. What’s that I hear you say? ‘I don’t have an accent’ I’m sorry to break this to you but if you speak to anyone outside of your own country, you will have an accent. You’ll also be seen as the mysterious stranger. People are attracted to mystery, especially females.

Getting back on track here, perhaps you are not looking for plain vanilla dating. If you are looking for something specific in regards to sex or dating, this is where the internet excels. Niche dating is big business with everything catered for from every fetish you can think of to specific ethnicitys and even religion. So there’s no reason why you can’t find someone who has the same common interests or sexual perversions that you do. And now you can do it from the comfort of your own home.

I wish you well.

About The Author Jack Crow is a freelance writer and part time webmaster. When he’s not building web sites he’s checking out new dating sites that appear on the net. To see what he thinks of them visit: http://www.sexy-american-singles.com

7 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman – by: Caterina Christakos

As there are different types of women, there are different ways to arouse them as well. If you have been in a bit of a slump here are some quick ways to rev up your love life:

1) Dress in a suit and take her out to a romantic dinner. Women love men in suits and almost every man looks good in one. The soft candle light of a romantic restaurant combined with a good wine will put her in the mood to get closer, as well.

2) Work out together. Workouts release pheromones that heighten attraction between couples. Get sweaty together then clean up with some dirty fun in the shower.

3) Take a bath together. Fill the tub with some scented oils or bath salts and toss in some rose petals. Play romantic music and light some candles. She will feel pampered and grateful. Let her relax for a few minutes then slip in with her. There is plenty of opportunity for sexy contact while you clean each other.

4) Roleplay can keep your relationship and sex life reved up for years.

Ex. My boyfriend will dress up like a handyman and really get into the act with accent and tools. He comes over and offers to lend a helping hand around the house. He offers a truly helping hand and I tip him extremely well.

5) Practice erotic massage. Either take a class together or get a video or book and practice on each other. This is a great way to get both of you relaxed and heated up.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and author. For you free seduction guide go to: http://www.what-women-want.com

What Makes The Best Wedding Anniversary Gift? – by: Renee Michaels

Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or wife can rate high on your anxiety list; your anniversary is an occasion where the thought counts even more than the gift. The idea that your loving spouse should “know what I want” can lead to disappointed expectations, as men and women tend to have radically different ideas about what “romantic” means. Mind reading is an art, not a science; so make it easy for your husband or wife to choose a wedding anniversary gift. Drop easy-to-figure-out hints or talk about how you would love to celebrate your anniversary.

You don’t always have the money or the time to plan an extravagant wedding anniversary celebration, and truly, the amount of money spent isn’t going to be what makes your husband or wife feel cherished. Life is busier than ever for most couples and it’s easy to fall into a routine that deadens your marriage. Making time to celebrate your love gets lost in the shuffle. Your anniversary is the perfect occasion to break out of your rut.

What will touch your husband or wife’s heart, what’s been missing in your relationship that you want to enjoy again? Answer this question and you’ll be on the right path to finding wedding anniversary gifts that have the magic “wow” factor.

Spice up your gifts

Traditional anniversary gifts of flowers, chocolate or jewelry can be made special by the way you present them.

Personalize a flower bouquet or a box of chocolates with a love letter, note or a short poem. “Roses are red, violets are blue, we’ve been married for xx years, and my love for you is still true.” “Chocolates are yummy and sweet, but you are always my number one treat.” Take a romantic song lyric and personalize it by changing a few words or a line or two. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just heartfelt.

Place a jewelry gift in a special keepsake box and also enclose a love note. If you’re dining out at your favorite restaurant, have the gift delivered with dessert. Buy a heart-shaped serving tray to present it. Or custom engrave a bracelet with a romantic message.

A romantic evening “home alone” can jumpstart your romance again. Create a fun theme for your evening and buy costumes to match it. Order in a dinner so you only have to heat and serve.

Indulge yourselves with a romantic and sexy getaway. If you have children, maybe a relative or trusted friends can take them for one night so you can enjoy a private celebration. Get a suite and decorate it beforehand. Set up candles, strew the bed with flower petals, sexy lingerie and fun toys. Put on your favorite music and leisurely give each other a massage to get into the mood.

Personalized gifts are very appreciated, especially when they include words of love or a happy photo of you together. Create a “love” gift basket. Include items such photos, love coupons, a framed love letter, a small box of chocolates, massage oils, a few fresh flowers, aromatic candles, bottle of wine or small romantic trinkets with special meanings to your marriage.

Show how much you appreciate your husband or wife and plan your anniversary celebration around something that they always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.

The best wedding anniversary gift expresses what romance uniquely means to your marriage and each other. Carefully listen for your spouse’s hints and clues. But give your husband or wife the gift that they truly want: to know that you cherish your love and marriage, and always will.

About The Author Renee Michaels uses her design, writing and life skills to develop web businesses. Do you need romantic anniversary ideas? Visit LoveGifts at http://www.best-wedding-anniversary-gift-ideas.com/romantic-anniversary-idea.html

How To Find a Great Dating Partner and Have Fun Looking – by: Ken Katz

Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way to meet some great people you might not normally meet. It seems that today people are working much more than in the past. When you are ready to go home, you are too tired to go out everynight looking to meet someone.

This is where internet dating excels. After a long hard day of work, you can go home, get into some comfortable clothes, make a fast dinner. Or if you where lucky to stop by and pick up a pre-cocked meal (OK, fast food!) you can just crash by the computer, maybe answer some email and then go looking for dates the easy way!

Go to your favorite seach engine and do a search for internet dating, online dating, internet dating sites, online dating sites, dating sites, gay, bi, Christian dating, Jewish dating or any phrase you think is good. Whatever you are looking for, chances are there is a internet dating site catering to your interests.

Jot down a few of the sites that you like and visit each one. If you are new to internet dating, pick at least five sites.

Go to each date site and check out the site. Search the profiles and try to find a few people you might want to contact. If anyone really peaks your interest, find their user name or “handle” and write it down besides that site name on your list.

If the site has a forum or a chat room that you can check out, by all means log on and maybe talk to some of the members. See if they have similar interests as you and if you think that they might be fun to talk to in the future.

If price is a factor, look at the sites fees. See what they charge for for the services you are interested in. Most sites today, allow you to add a free profile to their database.

Usually if you want to contact a profile, will you have to register and pay a monthly fee. Don’t be alarmed at the fees. If you think about it,the fees are probably still cheaper and much easier to bear then going out on dates that are no fun. So, don’t be turned off by fees. The sites today have all levels of fees. If you are inteested in meeting only one or two of the profiles you like, you can take out a one day subscription that is very reasonable.

But, really go through five or more sites, to get a feeling of what is out there. Once you have visited a few sites you will know which ones you liked and are inerested in adding your profile. Remember, the more sites you have a profile on the better are your chances of finding the right dating partner faster.

When adding your profile, take time to really think about your answers, check your spelling and be honest. This way you will show the best side of yourself and will have nothing to fear in the future if your relationship advances. It is hard to have to explain away the little white lies we all try to tell when we first meet someone. Honesty is the best policy and leads to less headaches.

Remember, online dating should be fun. So, check out the sites with that attitude and your email box will be full of people wanting to meet and learn more about you.

About The Author Ken Katz runs Web4love.com. His goal in life is to help everyone meet the partner of their dreams. Please include a link to my site: http://www.web4love.com.

Surprising Clues He’s Cheating on You – by: Caterina Christakos

So you think that your man is cheating on you but you don’t want to make the mistake of accusing him if you are wrong? Here are some clues that he might be sneaking around:

1) He doesn’t want you to see his cell phone or pager.

2) He has several calls, especially at night, that he has to leave the room to take.

3) He forgets to put on his wedding band, claims that it doesn’t fit him or professes to have lost it.

4)He accidently comes home with part of his clothing inside out.

5) There is lipstick or perfume clinging to his clothing and he doesn’t work in a cosmetics’ factory.

6) He mixes up his stories. One minute he was working late and the next he was out to dinner with a client.

7) He doesn’t meet your eyes when he tells you where he’s been.

He gets defensive when you ask questions.

9) He suddenly is more generous with gifts, flowers etc…

These are just a few possible signs of a possible cheat.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. To learn how to seduce your man and keep him hooked go to: http://www.seduction-hypnosis.com.

The Truth About Women Revealed – by: Caterina Christakos

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to read a woman’s to mind – especially a woman you want to get into your bed? How about just being able to fake it enough that she thinks you can read her mind?

Here are some powerful clues that can tell you if she is interested in you and the type of things she might be interested in in bed.

1) Is she biting her lower lip or licking it? She is definitely into you. This is a little signal that she isn’t even aware she is doing.

It ranks right up there with playing with her hair and crossing and uncrossing her legs.

2) Does she lean into you when you are talking? You have grabbed her attention.

3) Does she touch you alot? If she is caressing your arm or finding excuses to touch you then you have a huge chance of scoring tonight.

4) Does she love it when you order food for her and make decisions? This might be a sign that she wants you to take charge in the bedroom. If she enjoys having her hands help down by you during sex, she might be into a little light bondage.

Start with scarves to test her reaction.

5) Watch her while she eats her dinner. Does she really get into the meal, especially the dessert? Try adding some whipped cream or chocolate syrup to your night play.

6) Want a new way to turn her on? Try renting some erotic videos with a story line. Try the Red Shoe Diaries, Henry and June or Eyes Wide Shut. If she likes the scene in Eyes Wide Shut where they are wearing masks she may be open to experimentation and role play.

7) Want to get her in the mood? Try having a picnic on your living room floor. Include wine or champagne, strawberries, whipped cream and finger foods that you can feed each other.

She will find it romantic and you have the privacy she may need to show her appreciation.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. For tips on how to seduce beautiful women go to: http://www.what-women-want.com.

Attraction: Is It Worth It? – by: Audrey King

The Common Scenario:

Your partner is hardly ever home to give you attention and when he is home, he’s preoccupied with his own routine. The two of you then start picking on the little things about each other. This makes you feel unappreciated and lonely; down on yourself.

One day, you’re running household errands after work and notice a male co-worker. He comes up to you and asks you to join him for coffee. You accept and the two of you talk and laugh. You then exchange email addresses and next thing you know, you’re looking forward to talking with him again and maybe even liking your job a little more.

Weeks go by, and the excitement ebbs just a little as you begin to feel guilty and confused. You begin to have obsessive thoughts as your co-worker wants the two of you to have sometime alone. Your wandering if he could bring you the happiness that’s lacking in your home life, if the grass is truly greener on the other side.

What do you do?

You’re Only Human:

It’s human nature for you to know that you’re desired or loved and wanted. Of course, some are just plain addicted to the feeling of excitement one gets while going through an attraction with another person other than their partner. Insecure feelings and lack of self confidence can make a person think and sometimes do regrettable things when receiving attention from another. In fact, 274 out of 703 people are lacking intimacy altogether from their partner. Most people yearn for passion in their lives almost more than they want or need money. The media puts great emphasis on it through internet, movies, television, radio, magazines and books. I can’t count how many times I’ve read a juicy romance novel and wanted to pummel my husband with it as he was sacked out on the sofa.

Paying The Piper Of Desire:

Desire with love is over rated and misunderstood everywhere and many relationships are torn apart by perceptions of what a person thinks they need to fill a void in their life. They’ll practically sell their souls for romance, passion, desire and excitement. Something that their partner can’t or won’t give. But then, most never communicate with their partners about what they need so how can they know that they can’t get it? The few that have discussed their needs and wants with their partners still don’t receive it which momentarily justifies their actions. Very rarely does either party gain anything but guilt and even self-loathsome. Not to mention, what others feel and think about them when they choose to act upon their attraction or infatuation.

Phase In…Phase Out:

Infatuation is a strong, foolish, yet transitory, attachment to someone or something. Attraction is similar but less worded. In a survey I conducted, the average person that experienced attraction or infatuation was in the thirty-something category. Many people, especially women, go through an extreme transition at this stage in life. Primping in the mirror and finding the crows feet forming or the laugh lines. Looking back to see what has been accomplished and what hasn’t. Wondering what’s out there. We all go through it and it does take a toll on our self-esteem.

Use It Or Lose It:

Personally, infatuation over someone other than your partner can actually put spark into a stale relationship. According to my own survey, 19% said that their relationship and feelings with their partner were positively stronger after their infatuation with another. On the other hand, 31% said it never changed their relationship at all because they never told their partner and never acted on their feelings.

Most people do make the undeniable mistake of acting on their infatuation while otherwise committed to another. Out of 294 males, 124 have cheated on their partner and 122 out of 326 females did the same. Approximately, 30% of my personal survey takers advise others in similar situations to “be careful” because “it’s not worth it” or “recognize the attraction for what it is and don’t read more into it.” On a positive note, 37% of those that took the survey did not act upon their attraction.

Is This Love?

The definition of love is, a feeling that animates a person who is devoted to, and sincerely fond of another person or thing that they desire actively. No wonder so many confuse infatuation and attraction with love! The similarities are quite evident. But the key words are “devoted” and “desire actively”. Love for another is long-lasting, a more grounded feeling than infatuation or attraction. None of the situations mentioned in my own survey resulted in love or marriage with the other person. Although, 44% resulted in a serious, sexual relationship but neither case ended up as just a one-night-stand. For the most part, 27% say that it’s just a memory that they’d rather forget. And only 27% hope to see that person again.

Rewind And Redefine:

So why are most of us so hell-bent on the excitement of infatuation or always wondering if the next person is “the one” even though we are already in a commitment? It’s all about ourselves. What we’re not getting and refuse to ask for and give in return. How we feel about or see ourselves through another’s eyes. Our boredom with a current situation. Not to mention, some of us are just thrill-seekers and taboo-addicts.

Recently, I came upon a quote from SavvyMale.com on attraction.

“We go to the garden to look at the flowers, not the weeds. People are attracted to different looking flowers. But even some pretty flowers stink once we try to smell them.”

In my opinion, the moral of this quote is, physical attraction is important at first. Only when we attempt to explore more qualities will we know if a chemistry exists and most of the time it doesn’t. However, if we are already committed to another, we can still look at the pretty flowers; just leave them alone. Instead, share your feelings of their beauty with your partner and cultivate your own beautiful garden as a couple. There’s a greater chance of your grass being the greenest of all.

About The Author Audrey King © Audrey King 2005 ‘Links For Moms’ bringing valuable resources to busy moms. http://www.linksformoms.com linksformoms@aol.com

“COMING SOON…Online Attractions – Featuring all of the beautiful men and women searching for LOVE” – by: Victoria Leal

In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. They looked so darn happy, you couldn’t help but wonder if this could also work for you, so I tried it. Put it this way, finding my “Mr. Right” may have ended up costing me a small fortune!

Then one day I was working on my computer and along came an annoying pop-up. Normally, I delete them as fast as they pop-up, but this one caught my eye. It was for another dating site. Once inside the site, I was amazed at all of the handsome black men and a few white ones too, who were looking for the perfect black woman.

Because of how I am, my desire for monogamy, this is who I was looking for, someone who had the same desire as me. What I quickly found out, on my first night on the site is that most men don’t even bother to read your profile they just look at your picture and click! Thanks for the compliment, I think? However, when a man takes the time to read your profile, he is going a little deeper than just the physical attraction and actually learns a little about you before sending you a message.

At that time my profile was a little friendlier, more inviting. What I found was that I spent more time eliminating those who did not fit the bill until I thought I had found the one. However I have a hard time giving all of my attention and affection to someone who is not returning the favor. And because of who I am, it is not in my nature to be intimate with more than one person at a time. To me, intimacy definitely includes more than just sex. It involves allowing a person to really get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, what your loves and fears are, trusting to the point of vulnerability. So because I was not getting what I needed in return for what I was giving, I said audios!

I decided to give this site another go. This time I spelled out exactly what I expected in my profile. It was probably more intimidating to some. I think that they could tell that I was very serious about what I am saying and if they are all about the game, they don’t even bother to click. That’s good! As I say, that way I don’t have to bother cutting away the fat to get to the meat. Or as one gentleman said, “the apples at the top of the tree are more appealing but the ones on the ground are easier to get.” I am still the same person, but this time I am realizing that it’s really all about the game. The object of the game is to talk with whomever you want, as many as you want, as much as you want, as intimately as you want, all at the same time, and finally, if you choose to do so, you can select the one who has won you over from all of your many admirers. However, don’t forget that while you are being pursued by him, he is being pursued by others and he is also pursuing others at the same time he is pursuing you. It’s like one big orgy!

For this very reason, I don’t think that online dating is right for me. But let’s turn that around. Online dating is what you make it. You can play by your own rules. As for me, I really don’t care what the others do; I will stick to my molasses method of one person at a time. The problem is finding that one who would be willing to give up the buffet to see what the steak taste like. I’m sure that it will take me longer this way to find the one who is right for me, but after all when I do, it will have been well worth the time—for both of us!

About The Author Victoria Leal is the Owner of MarriageSecretsRevealed.com. To find helpful information on how to have a happy marriage or what to expect before you get married, please visit: http://www.marriagesecretsrevealed.com This article is Copyright © 2005 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it’s entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

Amazingly Romantic Ideas – 16 Ways To Win Your Lover’s Heart – by: Jessica Kihara

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don’t even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner’s heart melt because it’s one of the finest acts of seduction.

For Your Wife/Girlfriend:

1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendevous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn’t have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you’re having a romantic getaway!

2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don’t repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she’ll know you faked it.

3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she’ll be speechless.

4. Hold her hand everytime you go out. If this isn’t possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you’re proud to be with her and can’t keep your hands off her!

5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.

6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you’ll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she’s beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.

7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple “I Love You” on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she’ll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special and lovey-dovey! If you want to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!

8. If you’re an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You’ll get the best resluts if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.

For Your Husband/Boyfriend:

1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatheraoy massage oil to relax and soothe him.

2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it’ll seem super-romantic to him!

3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he’ll feel satisfied and taken care of.

4. Take some time out to just look into each other’s eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!

5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he’s not around or that you feel safe with him there.

6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning – do this when you two are completely alone so that he won’t feel uncomfortable or embarassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.

7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!

8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you’re done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occassions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don’t ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they’ll treat you so much better!

About The Author Jessica Kihara Get our FR.EE special report when you sign up for the Sensational Treasures Newsletter. Just send a blank e-mail to mailto:newsletter@sensationaltreasures.com. GHM Industries, Inc. http://www.SensationalTreasures.com newsletter@sensationaltreasures.com

What is the Best Position for Making Love? – by: Caterina Christakos

Ever wondered which is the most sexual and feminine sexual position?

Well, the award undoubtedly goes to the missionary position! Yes, that old and boring man on top that can bring more satisfaction than you could imagine. No acrobatic positions, no pain and struggle, just complete focus on the pleasure sex should bring to both the partners.

This position is both feminine and erotic. It offers the perfect environment for a woman to feel loved, taken care of and close to you at the same time. The missionary position is also the most comforting to finish for the woman and, with a little communication, for the man as well.

If you’re still not convinced maybe you should fine-tune it a little bit.

A couple of hard pillows under her hips and the difference will make her moan with pleasure.

You can gently spread her legs or just suggest her she should wrap them around your waist.

Put one or both over your shoulders and you’ll get the effect of a turbo engine.

With some training and patience this position will soon become number one. And all of this because it is perhaps the most adaptable one. Everybody can feel great while making love in the missionary position.

Many women find it easier to have an orgasm in this position because they are more relaxed and don’t have to think about their performance as in other positions. All they have to do is close their eyes, sit back and relax while the orgasm slowly surrounds them.

This position can give the woman plenty of clitoral stimulation if the man leans forward thus rubbing his pelvic bone against her clitoris. It also allows the manual stimulation of her clitoris. The missionary position is just great for those who love intimacy during sex as they can remain face to face while making love and enjoy each other as they reach orgasm to the full. The man can kiss and caress the woman, touch her breasts and abdomen while she can touch and rub his head, shoulders, back, and butt.

If at any time during sex in the missionary position you need to make a little change, you can always roll around and shift into a different one without too much trouble. All of this adds variety to a position many consider to dull to bring pleasure.

All in all, the missionary position feels so natural and erotic that it could never become obsolete.

Want to learn even more awesome positions to drive both her and you wild?

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. For your free seduction manual go to: http://www.what-women-want.com.

Conquering a Woman’s Heart – by: Caterina Christakos

Conquering a woman’s heart is for many men more or less some kind of a minefield. Certainly, women contain every ingredient needed for making a Molotov Cocktail, and the key is to handle them gentle enough not to set them off.

Applying to animals and humans alike, instincts gave women the privilege of picking while men the “honor” of doing their best to convince them that they are the best choice possible. Although it might not seem such an easy job, it comes with our own nature. More than that, as the Bible says, women were created from and for men.

Don’t let yourselves fooled by all those saying that they have the secrets needed to get any woman and become modern Don Juans. The only secret I can think of is being yourself. The rest is, believe it or not, pure and simple human psychology.

Just to give you an idea of how simple it can actually be, I’ll just list a few of the things needed for the “big conquest”. Before attempting anything, every man should keep in mind that the times when males stood up on a heap of dirt and showcased their powers are long gone. You don’t have to prove her anything! Instead, make her want to discover your qualities.

PATIENCE. This is not a hit and run thing and showing some patience tells the woman that you could represent more than just a waste of time. Forcing a woman into something she does not want to do is a major mistake that will most likely cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

HUMOR. Aside the relaxed atmosphere they create, funny guys inspires optimism and positive attitude. After all, do you like a woman that always complains about something?

WITS. Without some activity in your brain she could take off before you know it. Nevertheless, a savant attitude will most likely make her feel bad and underestimated. Keep in mind that women fight for equality and never try to show her what an undiscovered genius you are. After a couple of minutes of relaxed, humorous and subtly witty chat she will figure you out by herself.

SENSITIVENESS. Despite some opinions, women DO like sensitive men. Nevertheless, there’s a big difference between a sensitive man and a weak man. Let her feel that she can rely on you, that you’re always on top of the situation but you can listen to her problems and maybe even help her out sometimes.

GOOD LOOKS. You don’t have to be Brad Pitt to be considered good looking. What matters most is the way you let her understand that you take care of yourself. A clean and tidy person will most likely have a clean and tidy relationship.

PUNCTUALITY. Men are NEVER allowed to be late while women HAVE to show up a little late so the man knows she is still to be conquered. More than that, it is the woman’s way of letting you know she was preparing herself to look her best for you. You should never come up with excuses for being late, even if they might be true. Any excuse is just as pathetic as the next one, so if you think you can’t make it in time simply let her know with some time in advance.

The list could go on and on but the idea behind everything is the same: always be yourself, treat her as your equal and understand her as a human being and not as a good catch. Women always sense these things even if you don’t say them out loud.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. For your free seduction manual go to: http://www.what-women-want.com.

7 Things You Must Know About Women – by: Caterina Christakos

Most men find women mysterious and confusing. You find us difficult to figure out. It isn’t your fault. It’s not like anyone gave you a guide book on women in highschool to study.

Here are some of the mysteries about women revealed:

1) Before you even get to the door most women wonder if you are Mister Right.

2) She is just as anxious as you are about your first date.

3) Women like your undivided attention. Pay attention to what she has to say and she will be more interested in hearing about you. Also keep your eyes on her. Eyeing any of the other women in the room is a definite way to make that first date your last.

4) After the first date women pretty much know if and when they will sleep with you.

5) Many women don’t want to get married or at least not as early as they used to. Many women are staying single into their late thirties in favor of pursuing their own careers.

6) A woman can complain about her family all she wants but the second you criticize her family start packing your bags.

7) Asking a woman if you are the best she ever had is pointless. We will lie to avoid hurting your feelings. You will never know if you are the biggest, the best or last the longest.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach. For your free Seduction mini course go to: http://www.what-women-want.com.

Blind Date Secrets – 5 Tips To Ensure You Both Have A Great Time – by: Joe Markus

So you’re going on a blind date. Few dating scenarios are as nerve wracking, and you’ve probably heard lots of horror stories about miserable blind dates. Your blind date doesn’t have to be a disaster, though, if you follow a few simple suggestions to help it be more successful.

Prepare Yourself

Communication experts say that we commonly form an impression of someone new within the first four minutes of meeting them. The first impression you make will set the stage for the entire blind date so prepare in advance to make a good one. Choose clothes that are appropriate for the date, not too revealing or strange. Get a fresh haircut, trim your fingernails, and shine your shoes if needed. On the day of date itself, allow plenty of time to get ready and allow extra travel time to wherever the two of you are meeting.

Where To Go And What To Do

Plan the date for a neutral location, preferably one where there will be a number of other people. When you don’t know the other person it’s not safe to meet in private, plus if you’re in a fairly active location it’s easier to disengage yourself from the date if necessary.

Most dating experts recommend that a blind date not be centered on a meal. If the date isn’t going well and you’re having dinner, you have to stick it out longer than if you’re meeting for coffee. There’s also the cost factor to consider. If either person is investing a lot of money in the date activity that puts more intense pressure on both people.

The First Meeting

Arrive a little early, make sure you’re neatly dressed, and step forward with a polite greeting and hand shake. Remember to smile and be friendly, even if you feel nervous. If you’re a man, open doors, hang up her coat, and pull out her chair if you’re sitting down. If you’re a woman and your date does these things for you, say thank you and enjoy being treated with good manners.

Making Conversation

Getting the conversation started and keeping it going is important to the success of your date. Remember those experts who said a first impression is formed in less than four minutes? They also tell us that communication is based on much more than just words. In fact, when you’re talking with your date the words you use only account for 7% of the total communication occurring. Your tone of voice accounts for 38% of your message and body language accounts for the remaining 55%.

Ending The Date

When the date comes to an end, thank the other person and say something general like “I enjoyed meeting you.” If things went really well then you can indicate if you’d like to date him or her again. If things didn’t go so well then don’t say you’ll call, or that maybe you could get together again sometime. This will create a false impression in the other person and simply avoids the truth.

If you don’t want to see the other person again, it’s okay to say so politely. Saying something like “I think we don’t have a lot in common” is much kinder than saying “I’ll call you” and then not calling. Always be kind, though, and make every effort to spare his or her feelings as much as possible.

About The Author Joe Markus Adam and Drew’s Dating Tips has a large variety of free articles that have been written by consulting ‘experts’ in the dating, flirting and relationship fields. Find out more at http://www.adamanddrew.com.

How To Keep The Passion Aflame – by: Joe Markus

The honeymoon is over. Maybe you’ve been together a few months, a few years, or even a lot of years. At some point, though, the early flames of passion will fade and you’ll start looking for ways to reignite them.

You’re in luck, then, because that’s exactly what this article is about!

1. Have Fun Together

Remember the fun times you had when you first started dating? You laughed, you played, and you spent time enjoying each other’s company. There’s no reason for the fun to stop just because you’ve been together for a while. Think about some of these options:

• Collect cartoons or jokes that your spouse will enjoy
• Play a game together, like checkers or backgammon
• Do something unexpected to surprise your spouse
• Do a puzzle together
• Make popcorn and watch a favorite movie

2. Be Romantic

What did you used to do when the two of you were romancing each other? Jump start the romance by going back to some of those previous activities that generated warm feelings. Maybe you used to:

• Eat dinner by candlelight
• Hide a love note in your spouse’s lunch
• Build a fire and relax in front of it
• Take walk in the moonlight

3. Go Back To Dating

One way to jump start your relationship is to “date” each other again. Add to the fun by calling to ask each other out, and the one doing the asking then plans the date. To make it more challenging, set a budget limit for the date. You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to be creative and plan a date for $30 or less.

Once you’re on the date, treat each other as you did when you were first getting acquainted. Men, open the car door for your lady. Women, put on a special dress and flirt with your gentleman.

4. Do The Little Things

The day to day grind of life can really wear you down, and at those times paying attention to the little things gets harder. It’s more important then ever, though, that you make the extra effort to do the little things that your spouse will really appreciate. You could:

• Make a point to give your spouse a hug and a kiss each morning before you leave and each evening when you get home
• Remember to say please and thank you
• Pick the chore your spouse dislikes the most, and do it for him or her without being asked
• Say “I love you” often, not just when you think it’s expected

5. Be Physical

We’re not just talking about sex. Being physical means touching her arm, holding his hand, offering a gentle caress or neck rub after a tough day. And when the two of you do move towards having sex, don’t just turn out the lights and get on with it every time. Seduce each other a bit, light some candles and take a bubble bath together. As pleasurable as sex is, doing the same thing the same way every time gets boring so spice things up a bit and you’ll be amazed at what will happen.

About The Author Joe Markus Adam and Drew’s Dating Tips has a large variety of free articles that have been written by consulting ‘experts’ in the dating, flirting and relationship fields. Find out more at http://www.adamanddrew.com.

Having Sex or Making Love – by: Caterina Christakos

Actually, the difference between the two concepts is bigger than some of us would like it to be. And, as almost every time, women feel it the most. What is the difference? Well, love. Women need to be protected, looked after and loved as much in bed as in every day life.

Keep in mind that this is not just a legend used by women to manipulate men. The difference between having sex and making love, together with it’s implications in a couple’s sex life is what many men forget when sharing the bed-sheets with a woman.

Clearly, everything written so far will not apply to one-night-stands. In those cases it is all about a sexual intercourse between two people who only share their bodies. After the bottom line has been drawn, most men feel good about themselves after a one-night- stand, without thinking about their sexual performance. Totally pleasing a woman from the very first time is no easy job as the only mystery she had disclosed is her body.

Yet, most men are attracted to one-night-stands or, with other words, to having sex. The lack of commitment needed and the easy attaining of the main goal: feeling good, are just two reasons pleading in favor of having sex.

On the other hand there is so much more between a man and a woman making love. There are feelings and emotions, leading to a totally different connection between the two of them. More than that, for women, one of the most important things during sex is the environment. And this means everything from location to those few candles some like to place around the bed.

Let’s take them in turn a little bit. If you want to leave her smiling and begging for a cigarette and some more there are some things you might like to take into consideration.

Trying dad’s old car’s rear suspension will make the car happier than her. The ideal location would certainly be a bed in a nice and cozy room with nothing interfering with the moment. Someone knocking on the door or even a ringing phone can have very undesirable effects. Some candle-like lights and easy-listening music in the background adds even more to the overall foreplay.

Explore every inch of her body and draw imaginary contours with your fingers and tongue, kiss her neck, breasts, belly and legs, all in a specific order surrounding the most important area and closing in at the same time. All this will increase the tension and when that moment comes both you and her will feel the difference.

Communication is essential for great results. Men must pay attention to the unspoken signs every woman gives them. Ignoring these signs will make women feel used. The old legend that says that when a woman says “no” she actually means “yes” is nothing more than a poor excuse so keep your ears open for her desires.

If all goes well, you might be given the supreme sexual command and that’s “don’t stop!” When you hear that, whatever you do, DON’T STOP!

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and published author. For even more in depth dating tips go to: http://www.seduction-hypnosis.com.

Instant Dating Strategies Anyone Can Use – by: Caterina Christakos

Most of us walk around caught up in our own thoughts. We don’t look at people as we walk down the street and we have the radio blasting in the car so we don’t even notice those single, sexy individuals in the cars next to us.

Tip #1 Get out of your head and into your environment.

Instead of saying that there aren’t any available guys out there, why not take your head out of your book at Barnes and Noble and notice if anyone is noticing you?

There are probably plenty of attractive men out there dying to ask you out. Your body language may be part of the reason why they don’t.

Tip #2 Have open body language. This means no crossed arms. No hiding behind books. No hunching your shoulders.

Tip #3 Make eye contact. Instead of looking down when a cute guy looks at you, meet his gaze. The right eye contact can be sexier than the hottest verbal conversations.

Tip #4 Smile more. Studies have proven that a smiling face is thought to be friendlier and more attractive than someone who goes around with a tight jaw. Relax your jaw and allow your lips to be at least partly parted at all times. Notice the difference in how many more people smile, look your way and approach you.

About The Author Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and published author. For even more in depth dating tips go to: http://www.seduction-hypnosis.com

How to Choose a Marriage Counselor – by: Shelly Phegley

You have made the decision to contact a marriage counselor. The next question is “How to choose the right marriage counselor?” The success of your counseling experience will relate directly to your compatibility with your counselor.

Before you call a Marriage Counselor

Ask yourself why you are consulting a marriage counselor. Define your issues as best as you can in order to communicate them to your prospective therapist. Outline what you would like to gain from counseling. Is it important to you that a marriage counselor be familiar with the issues at hand? Do you prefer a marriage counselor that is married? Is it important that your marriage counselor has raised children? Do you have a preference as to a female or male marriage counselor? How far are you willing to commute to a marriage counselor’s office? What hours are you available to commit to counseling sessions?

Fees

Decide what you can afford to pay a marriage counselor. There a several questions you may want to ask a marriage counselor with regards to fees, such as:

• How much does the therapist charge per session?
• Does the therapist charge according to income (sliding scale)?
• Is there a policy concerning vacations and missed or canceled sessions? Is there a charge?
• Will your health insurance cover you if you see this therapist?
• Will the therapist want you to pay after each session, or will you be billed periodically?

Questions to Ask a Family & Marriage Counselor

Other questions to keep in mind while searching for a marriage counselor you are comfortable with include:

• How many times a week will the therapist want to see you?
• How long is a typical session?
• How long does the therapist expect treatment to last?
• What are some of the treatment approaches likely to be used?
• Does the therapist accept phone calls at the office or at home?
• When your therapist is out of town or otherwise unavailable, is there someone else you can call if an emergency arises?
• Are there any limitations on confidentiality?

Credentials

Marriage counselors’ academic degrees are different. The type of credentials may be of importance to you throughout your search for the right marriage counselor.

M.S.W.: Master of Social Work

Social Workers apply social work theory, knowledge, methods and ethics to restore or enhance the functioning (social, psychosocial) of individuals, couples, families, and groups, as well as organizations and communities.

M.F.C.C.: Marriage, Family and Child Counselor

An MFCC therapist has earned a Master of Science degree in counseling with a specialization in marriage, family and child issues. MFCC’s are trained to understand problems from both individual and family systems perspectives; develop intervention skills; incorporate cultural, age-specific, and gender-respectful understanding in theory and practice; and handle clinical, ethical, legal and general professional aspects of their practice.

M.F.T.: Marriage and Family Therapist

A marriage and family therapist has earned a master’s degree in social work with a particular emphasis on relationships. This professional is interested in who each person is within the context of their family, both past and present. Marriage and family therapy applies therapeutic techniques and focuses on issues of human development, communication skills, and interpersonal relationships.

L.C.S.W.: Licensed Clinical Social Worker

The LCSW is a state licensure designation for practitioners with a master’s or doctoral degree in social work. Clinical Social Work, a practice specialty of Social Work, utilizes social work theory, knowledge, methods, and ethics to restore or enhance the functioning of individuals, couples, families, and groups, as well as organizations and communities.

Call Around

Once your search has been narrowed to a handful of marriage counselors, pick up the phone. Most therapists will have a brief phone consultation with you and answer most questions you might have. The phone consultation is a great way to determine if you and the prospective marriage counselor might work well together.

About The Author Shelly is a staff writer and editor for the National Directory of Marriage and Family Counselors (http://www.counsel-search.com), a nationwide database of family & marriage counselors that offers free detailed profiles of marriage counselors and family counselors in the United States. National Directory of Family & Marriage Counselors: http://www.counsel-search.com Terms of Use: Permission is granted to use this article for free online or in print provided that this copyright clause is appended and a link to our website is included.

Romancing The Senses – by: Rich Gray

Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is best enjoyed when you get all your senses in on the action. The following are suggestions for getting the most out of romance, one sense at a time.

Sight

Lighting should be one of the first areas you look at when trying to establish a romantic mood. Candlelight is perfect for romantic ambiance, as is the light from a fireplace. You could also try warm, soft light bulbs, preferably of a low-wattage or pleasing color.

Speaking of color, give some thought to it when arranging a romantic setting. Reds will tend to inspire feelings of passion, energy and conversation, while blues will encourage trust and relaxation, as well as helping to sooth nerves. Try violet, a combination of the two, for a great comforting effect. Colors to avoid include yellows and oranges.

Flower will also be not only be pleasing visually, but will also appeal to one’s sense of…

Smell

The sense of smell is one of the most powerful things you can target when it comes to striking a romantic mood. Scents travel directly to the brain and can trigger a wide range of emotions. Some of the scents that can help romantically include vanilla, lavender, jasmine, mandarin, rose and sandalwood. You could also try to cook foods that please and provoke positive emotions, such as cinnamon rolls. One of the primary considerations here is to take into account what you and your partner like.

Taste

You’ve probably heard the phrase “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but this isn’t limited to men. Cultures throughout history have believed that aphrodisiacs existed that could help enhance “romance,” and science is now backing them up on it. Take, for example, chocolate. Chocolate actually triggers the release of chemicals in the brain that create feelings of pleasure and gratification.

One sure-fire romantic combination is to break out the champagne, strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream. Other aphrodisiacs that you can try include asparagus, artichokes, caviar, figs, ginger, grapes, honey and the old standby, raw oysters.

Sound

Classical or ambient music are the obvious choices when it comes to striking an audio romantic mood, but you can really listen to anything that you find enjoyable and relaxing (the best choices typically are those types of music with melodic and slow tempos). The idea is to create a sound “envelope” you can slip into, a world of two removed from the larger one outside. A couple of tips on how you can further achieve this goal: avoid the television (ooo, a car chase… give me a kiss), and try to block out outside noise with thick curtains.

Touch

Which brings us to the touchie-feelie sense. There are a number of things you can focus on in this area to enhance romance. First, think fabrics. Items made from silk (sheets), satin, velvet, cashmere, mohair and angora will all add to a feeling of pleasure and relaxation. Try mixing up your normal setting by cluttering it with plush pillows, throws and other comfortable accessories. Set up a thick rug next to the fire, load it with pillows, add champagne and chocolate… you get the idea.

Finally, try a gentle massage. This is a perfect way to both relax and re-energize a partner. It also is a great way to get close. Try massaging the head, hands and feet with flowing and rhythmical motions. For an added benefit, use a scented massage oil.

Stimulating all five of the senses will help to make your romantic evenings both more pleasurable and more special. Try mixing and matching any of the above ideas, and don’t be afraid to experiment with your own if you feel that they will enhance the mood. Personal preferences and likes are really the only rules when it comes to romance.

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About The Author Rich Gray currently writes for several Websites, including The Art of Calm and The Virtual Vermonter. He also runs YankeeScents, a company devoted to the creation of fine potpourri. virtualvermonter.com

10 Tips for Winning at Custody – by: Jean Mahserjian

Winning at Custody is one of the most difficult issues parents confront in divorce. In many cases, both parents want custody and are willing to spend whatever it takes to win. Custody is all about what is best for the children – and that involves proving that you are the best parent – i.e. that the other parent is not as good a parent as you and/or that the other parent is just simply a bad parent.

My recommended tips for winning at custody are:

1. If you are not involved in your children’s lives now, you are not getting custody from a judge. If you are a working parent who lets your spouse handle all of the details of parenting, you are not prepared to win at custody. You must either change your objectives or change your parenting. If you really want custody, get involved now – in all aspects of your children’s lives. Get involved in your children’s schooling. Attend their extra curricular events. Take them to the doctor and dentist. Get to know what professionals your children see and be involved with them?

2. Make sure that you are not exposing your children to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. Are you involved in another relationship? Has there been more than one? Be very careful about exposing your children to your companion(s). Many judges, professionals, and other parents object to the children being subjected to other relationships too early in that process. More important, if you really want to win at custody, it should be because you want to spend time with your children parenting them. Spending time with someone else when you have the children is a recipe for losing at custody in court.

3. Do you put down your children’s other parent when the children are with you – either consciously or subconsciously? If you do, stop. One sure way to lose at custody is to hurt the children’s relationship with the other parent. A judge will consider whether a parent promotes or prevents the other parent’s access to and relationship with the children when seeking custody.

4. Winning at custody requires that you keep a calendar for everything. You need to be able to look back and remember details when it comes time to litigage custody. If you do not know when you had the children, what events you attended, where they were or you were or allof the times your spouse was not timely for a pick up or drop off, you will only hurt your own case. You can keep track on your own calendar, with your own journal, or with a professionally managed calendaring system. We do provide access to a professional calendaring system for custody cases on our web site at http://www.millenniumdivorce.com/custody-planner.asp.

5. Be on time…Be on time….Be on time. Few issues cause as much conflict as a parent who is persistently late in picking up or dropping off children. It irks the judges, it creates arguments with your ex or soon to be ex, and it stresses out the children. So, Be on time.

6. Be flexible. If the other parent wants to switch weekends or weekdays, do it if you can manage your schedule. When the time comes to tell the judge why you should have custody, you can tell the judge that you are the parent who makes sure that the schedule works. In a close case, this issue makes a difference.

7. Do not involve your children in the issues that are pending in court or with attorneys. Courts generally are very opposed to the children knowing the details of what are essentially adult issues. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them – that’s it. The children may see a psychologist and/or an attorney or other professional if the court directs that. The children can talk to those people about your case – you should not be giving them the details, especially if giving the details involves denigrating the other parent.

8. Winning at custody requires considering one other very important factor: where do the children want to live. It is not a good idea to coach your children on this issue. They will have an opportunity to tell what they want to either the court, their attorney or a psychologist. However, it is a good idea to know what they want. If they want to live with their other parent, you should not spend all of your time and money pursuing custody, unless you believe that it is unsafe or inappopriate for the children to live with that parent.

9. You do have to be willing to show why your children’s other parent should not have custody. So, you need to keep track of whether that parent is on time, involved, and flexible with the schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues which impact his or her ability to care for the children or alcohol or drug addictions, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can and do affect custody determinations include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and the epxosure of the children to those relationship, the proper supervision of the children, and ensuring that the children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and dentist when necessary.

10. Above all else, hire a good attorney and be open and honest with your attorney. Listen to your attorney, not some friend or relative who is sure about what you should do because they had a friend or a relative who got a better deal. If you are paying your attorney, listen to what he or she has to say.

About The Author Jean Mahserjian is an attorney and the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of divorce. To download free excerpts from her divorce and custody books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com jmm@millenniumdivorce.com